Movie review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Movie reviews

Hello!

While the majority of the world is already enjoying Spider-Man, I’m watching Transformers: The Last Knight, because the international release schedules hate me. Here we go.

IMDb summary: Autobots and Decepticons are at war, with humans on the sidelines. Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth.

Writing

The 5th Transformers film was written by Art Marcum and Matt Holloway (Iron Man’s writers), Ken Nolan (Black Hawk Down’s writer), and Akiva Goldsman (writer of Batman & Robin, the Oscar-winning picture A Beautiful Mind, and Ron Howard’s Da Vinci Code films). For a movie with this much going on, I expected it to have at least 8 scripwriters. The narrative (sort of) continued where the last movie left off (I, honestly, barely remember Age of Extinction or the original trilogy – I reviewed all of them in 2014 and wasn’t going to suffer through all of them again this year). The story was so messy. Like I said, the film had so much going on, and yet, it still managed to be pretty boring. Neither of the 4(?) plotlines was given any room to breathe and develop, we were just jumping around them all the time. The dialogue was bland or used as a tool for forced exposition. The jokes fell flat most of the time, although they weren’t as offensive as usual.

Before going to see this film, I was actually quite excited about the promised deconstruction of history and the inclusion of the King Arthur legend (the ‘it’ myth for this summer – King Arthur 2017 review). However, I don’t think it was used in a compelling way. Nevertheless, I will give the scriptwriters one compliment – I thought that they used the Stonehenge and the supercontinent Pangaea real-world tie-ins quite neatly. The rest of the fantastical narrative didn’t make much sense but at least these tie-ins were good.

Transformers films have always had a problem with the female characters. I guess this film was the least problematic in that aspect? The teenage girl was fine in the first act and then she was kinda forgotten for the rest of the movie before reappearing in the third act for no reason. She was just mostly there for Mark Wahlberg’s character to have a replacement daughter. I was really happy that they didn’t use the girl’s scenes from the promotional material in the actual film (the ones with ‘you fight like a girl’). If they included that, I would have begged the Transformers films to go back to sexism rather than attempting to do feminism and damaging the whole cause. The adult female character was fine. I appreciated the fact that she was a scholar, although her other mannerisms made her into a walking British stereotype with a Megan Fox costume.

There was a teaser scene at the beginning of the credits: I don’t know what it means, I don’t want to know and, most importantly, I don’t want to watch more of these movies.

Directing

This was supposedly Michael Bay’s final Transformers film. Despite what you think of him creatively, I have no idea how can anyone objectively think of him as a good director from a technical standpoint. I mean, those ever changing aspect ratios. Why??? They showed immense sloppiness and carelessness. Also, what was up with the constant color and lighting shifts? The action and the CGI – the staples of this franchise – looked fine but they were also all the same: loud noises, big explosions, and quick cuts. I couldn’t tell you who was fighting who, even in the opening battle with the real humans. The two compliments for action I can give is that I liked the shots of the Transformers in car form and I also liked the scene of the different parts of the Bumblebee fighting separately and then rejoining together, while in action.

Acting

The cast of Transformers 5 was way better that the movie deserved. Mark Wahlberg (Patriot’s Day, Deepwater Horizon, Ted 1+2) returned from the 4th film for probably his last outing as the character. The actors from the original trilogy – Josh Duhamel and John Turturro – also returned in their original roles, while Stanley Tucci (Beauty and the Beast, Hunger Games), who previously appeared in the 4th film, had a new role in the 5th film. Who cares, though? Nobody on this movie cared about continuity, so why should we waste out time trying to figure this out? Anthony Hopkins (Noah) also had a role in this film. I wonder what he was promised to appear in this mess. Starlord’s mom from Guardians of the Galaxy Laura Haddock played the main female lead, while Nickelodeon’s Isabela Moner played the teenage girl in the first act, All of the actors delivered okay performances. They weren’t terrible but they didn’t seem to be trying much either, and, honestly, I don’t blame them.

In short, Transformers: The Last Knight is an incoherent mess in all aspects. Nothing can save this franchise and nothing should.

Rate: 2/5

Trailer: Transformers 5 trailer

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Movie review: Transformers: Age of Extinction + a look back to a whole franchise

Movie reviews

Hello everybody!
Welcome to yet another group of movie reviews. This time it is Transformers. As much as I dislike Michael Bay and his point of view, I still went to see the latest installment in his famous franchise. The reason for that – my father wanted to go to this movie so badly and I could not say no to him. I even binge-watched 3 previous movies in a couple of days in order to have a decent conversation with him about this film series. I guess I really love my dad. Also, Steven Spielberg is an executive producer of these movies so there has to be something good in them.

I started my Monday morning/afternoon (I woke up at 1 pm) with Transformers (2007). First of all, let’s start with Shia LaBeouf’s character – it was so awkward to watch him on screen. I am as fail in life as he is, but I just could not relate to him or the actions he did as well as the choices he made. And Megan Fox was in this motion picture for one reason – to look hot. Although, she did her job perfectly, it was not enough for my taste. I liked all the military stuff and Josh Duhamel’s performance. What is more, seeing all the computer hacking and engineering material was interesting, entertaining and exciting. Humor – the jokes made my chuckle and giggle a few times.
In the movies, don’t you always hate the fact that government does not know anything ever and they are making wrong decisions all the time? It is a movie cliché that bugs me the most.
All in all, despite the fact that these robots have no weight to them and that they are unrealistic as hell with their flying, jumping and etc., I still enjoyed this movie. However, I cannot forget the terrible Megan Fox’s acting, so the final rate is 3/5

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009).
Humor – stupid, but you chuckle because you just think: That is so bad. Laugh when you want to cry.
Crazy Sam is like the best part of his character development.
CGI looked faker than in the first movie.
Sam is just there to shout robot’s names because we cannot remember who is who ourselves.
About two hours into a movie all the characters became so annoying that I wanted this movie to end as soon as possible. The storyline was slow and complex; you had no idea what was happening half the time.
I liked the transformers when they were in their car form not when they turned into robots. That’s some sweet, sporty and expensive cars.
And don’t get me started on the runtime of this movie? This one is like 2.5 hours long. By the fifth or sixth installment it will probably be 5 hours long or something.
Rate 2/5

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011).
At least this one doesn’t have Megan Fox in it.
I love when movies connect with real live events (in this case with Apollo 11 landing on the moon in 1969) and take place in famous locations (Chernobyl).
Third movie into the franchise and I still do not fully understand Michael Bay’s humor.
I actually liked Rose Huntington-Whitley more than I liked Megan Fox. And it was just first Rose’s acting experience when Megan has been acting since 2001.
Simmons and Sam pair was actually fun this time. They were intelligent enough to work a lot of stuff out instead of, as in previous movies, going in circles.
This time around CGI effects were great. Huge improvement since the last film.
I really enjoyed the last act of the movie; the action was interesting and exciting. I just wish it wasn’t that long. I hope that someday they will realize that 2.5 hours is too much. 2 hours – perfect if you have interesting plotlines and well-developed characters to keep viewers engaged into the movie.
Rate 3.5/5

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)
I have finally got around seeing this movie. Let me begin by saying that I went to this film with very low expectations and with these expectations in mind – it kinda delivered. The action was great – of course illogical but cool to look at. My dad really liked the film because he is a huge action fan.
The first hour and a half of the movie is really good, the premise is okay and storyline (if you can call it a storyline) is alright. But then the movie just keeps on going and going and going. About two hours in, I completely turned off my brain because everything was just messed up. I even had to ask my dad what was happening couple of times. Finally, a new cast. Improvement or failure? I guess improvement. Kinda. Sorta. Thank god, there is no Shia Lebeouf or his parents. They were annoying as s*it. I enjoyed Stanley Tucci’s performance as well as his character story arc. Mark Wahlberg also did a good job with what he was given.
During one part of the movie I was so confused who the villain was: dinobots; that alien who wanted Optimus or these manmade transformers with Megatron/Galvatron. In the end two of them happened to be bad guys. That boyfriend character reminded me of Chris Pratt. That actor’s real name is Jack Reynor – he was okay in the movie. That chick was my least favorite of them all. What is more, I liked seeing all the fast, sporty cars in the film – nice eye candy.
One last thing – is there a record for the amount of ads in Michael Bay movie? I felt like I was watching long (too long) advertisement for all kinds of stuff (starting with red bull and ending with lingerie). Only important message I could catch was the fact that you have to look for best in people. At least, Optimus Prime recommends you to do so. All in all, the movie was okay, I did not expect anything great so I enjoyed myself. Rate 3/5
Trailer: Age of Extinction – trailer #1
The sequel (5th movie) is planned to be released in 2016. The 6th movie is also in the works.

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